Everyday, Whatsapp is getting different types of new users registration across the globe. The App has grown to become the second largest social media platform since Mark Zuckerberg acquired it in 2014.
In every home, you will find at least one person who is making use of WhatsApp. In fact, 95% of people using a WhatsApp enable smartphone has WhatsApp Pre-installed on their smartphone whether they’re using it or not.
I can’t imagine your life without WhatsApp. This app has make life easy and fun for many people. It is one of the most user friendly chatting apps which you can use to share photos, videos and contacts with friends. Sometimes when some people do not have anything to do, they’re either busy viewing their friends WhatsApp status or updating their own WhatsApp status.
Here Are The Types Of WhatsApp Users You Likely Have In Your WhatsApp Contact Lists
These types of WhatsApp users are very secretive. Their last seen, read receipt (blue tick) is usually turned off, they don’t have a display picture, you won’t even know that they see your status as their names won’t show when they’ve seen your status
These types of WhatsApp users are very secretive. Their last seen, read receipt (blue tick) is usually turned off, they don’t have a display picture, you won’t even know that they see your status as their names won’t show when they’ve seen your status.
The Birthday Celebrants
I don’t know if they have the whole world’s contact on their phones or they have the details of everyone’s birthday on their phone.
Today happy birthday to my boo, tomorrow happy birthday to my cupcake, next tomorrow happy birthday my sugar daddy.
These type of WhatsApp users can be annoying sometimes because they will not just upload one photo but many photos as possible. They will even upload photo they snap with the celebrant in the Toilet (lol).
It’s very simple to kidnap these set of WhatsApp users as they always update everyone with their location.
If they go to Shoprite, they will post it, on the bike, they will post it, when they are at a sit out, they will update it… You will see something like “Chilling things” follow with a picture, even when they’re dying, they will update it on their status “Dying things” (oh my Gad).
These types of WhatsApp users can upload pictures for Africa.
If they snap 20 pictures, they will upload the whole 20 pictures on their status.
Sometimes you’d even think they’re backing up their pictures on their WhatsApp status (what have I not seen).
These set of WhatsApp users don’t upload worldly things. Their life is concentrated on God as all they post are Bible texts, Christian quotes, sermons and other Christian related activities.
You can never have these set of WhatsApp users on your contacts list and don’t draw closer to God.
The Business Woman
These sets of WhatsApp users can advertise anything that has to do with business, human hair, shoes, bags, clothes etc.
All their WhatsApp Status is about business. If they’re not advertising to sale their products then they’re either recommending a product for you to buy from their co-marketer.
They can even go to the extent of advertising kidney and liver for sale.
Many ladies are on this table. All they do is to record a video of their face while a song is being played.
They will now be licking lips, moving their head & changing the position of the camera without uttering a single word.
No be imbeciles dey do like that?
These types of WhatsApp users can be very annoying sometimes.
The Relationship Coach
These one have become relationship coaches due to heartbreaks.
On their status, you will be seeing stuff like “relationships is all about ups and downs, in and out, left and right”
Oga/Madam shut up, we know they’ve broken your heart.
This is the category where you find Nigerian mothers. All they do is to send broadcast messages to their children.
They will send something like… “Jesus will be coming to earth through Uyo axis. Send to 10 people and he will tell you the date and time”. Or you will receive something like “An angel of the Lord just falls from heaven and appears at Uyo Town hall with a trumpet” He said the trumpet will soon be blown. Send this to all you contacts… If don’t send it “You will Die” (WTF).
The Enjoyment Minister
These types of WhatsApp users are very gentle and easy going. All the post on their status is all about enjoyment.
Today they are in the club, tomorrow they are in Domino’s, next tomorrow, they’re in a wedding reception.
These ones like waka waka. Their leg can never stay one place. They know almost all the happening places in town. You can’t miss road on any outing with these set of WhatsApp users.
These ones are stylish beggars. They are very coded. They have mastered all the style of begging for favors from friends on WhatsApp Status.
All you’ll see on their WhatsApp status is “My subscription will expire this afternoon”, “who will buy pizza for me?”, “I need airtime”, “I’m bored, who’s gonna take me out”, “I’m hungry, who will buy me lunch”. They can even go as far to post their account number…
You will see something like “0127574281 – GTB – Samuel Etim, Let’s God Use you (But God can still use you oh lol). Beggy beggy somebody.
These ones have a Ph.D. in Data Management. When others are subscribing 3 times a month, they can manage 15mb for a whole month.
All they do is to turn on their data, reply messages, switch off data and ………BOOM, till tomorrow.
These ones are always contesting for something on Instagram. All the post on their WhatsApp status is “I’m contesting for the most beautiful girl in Uyo-left. Follow the link and like my picture, please”.
If they’re not contesting, they’re either asking you to vote for their friend who is contesting.
Awon most beautiful
They post screenshot of chats for a living and majority of them are ladies.
All because a guy tells them they are beautiful, they will screenshot the chat and upload on their status with the caption “awwnnn… thank you babes”.
Sister chill, we know you’re suffering from low self esteem.
Just because their relationship is going well, they won’t let us rest.
They will just be uploading pictures of their partner on their status. You that is not in a relationship will now be wondering what you’re doing with your single life.
They are coded but deep down we know they are bad guys. All they upload on their status are great quotes, religious quotes, motivational quotes.
But the day you go through their chats or videos, what your eyes would see, your mouth wont be able to talk about it.
Of course, you don’t know waris gorin on!
The Mini Celeb
These ones will be forming celebrity all because they have so many unread messages.
When you send them messages like “okay, yes, no, fine”, they won’t even open to read it, they will just leave it like that so they would have more unread messages. Uwafid!
The Proud Ones
These types of WhatsApp users don’t reply messages on time. They will see your messages but will choose to ignore.
They will now be doing as if they’re doing something positive with their time. They’ve a similar behavior like the Mini Celeb users.
These types of WhatsApp users don’t turn off data. They’re not bothered of how much data is left as they’re always online (this is me oh).
As soon as you send them a message on WhatsApp, it delivers immediately and you get a reply as soon as they have access to their phones.
The Straight Replier
They are the most annoying set of people to chat with on WhatsApp. They chat you up to tell you you don’t chat with them. When you now try to initiate a conversation, they’ll be giving you straight replies like “yes, fine, no, k, maybe, oh, hmm, lol,”
The Emoji Users
These set of WhatsApp users can’t do without emojis. For every chat they reply, an emoji must be included.
Good morning baby 🌅 I’m hungry🍿🍿🍕🍕🍕 I’m angry at you 😡😠😭😭 You just broke my heart 💔😡😭
It’s as if they don’t include emojis, they will die.
The Non-Emoji Users
These ones are very annoying. Emojis are easier ways of expressing some things you don’t or might not be able to type, but it’s a lie, they will type it themselves.
Laughs, Laugh out loud, Smiles, Heart break, Crying.
If you don’t read their messages twice, you won’t understand what they’re saying.
Cum? Like seriously!
That was how one confused me one day when she told me “Demola, I dnt lik d fact dat you dnt alwys cum on tym”
The only time these set of WhatsApp users will chat you up is when they need your help.
For over Four months, you guys won’t chat and all of a sudden they will chat you up with “baba, abeg I need your help”.
Who is your baba?.
The Slow Typers
You’d want to reply their message on WhatsApp but you will see “Babatunde is typing”
You will stop typing and exercise patience, thinking Babatunde is typing a long text. By the time you receive Babatunde’s text after 3 minutes, you’ll just see “OK bro”. Like you don’t mean it… so you use 3 minutes to type “OK bro”
The Status Stealers
These sets of WhatsApp users can never post original content created by them.
Their main aim on WhatsApp is to steal statuses, nothing more. When you upload a picture of the spaghetti you just finished cooking on your status, they will steal it, upload it and caption it “my baby just delivered this food to my house. I love you babes”.
The Status Beggar
They are monitoring spirits. Just because they know you upload nice and funny videos on your status, they are patiently waiting so they can beg you to send it to them.
These sets of WhatsApp users do not know that there are apps they can use to save someone WhatsApp Video status or Image without begging them to send to them.
In my next post, I will write on that. “How to download video or image from a friend WhatsApp Status.
They will be doing as if they are the first set of students to get admission into the University.
All they upload on their status is “7am class, boring lecture, Matriculation in 3 days, PHY 101”
Status will be empty after first semester result.
These types of WhatsApp users make viewing of WhatsApp Status fun. All they post on their status are savage replies, screenshots from Twitter, funny videos and funny funny write up.
They bring the fun & entertainment down to you via their WhatsApp status. You should have at least two to three of these sets of WhatsApp Users on your contacts list as they will help you laugh and forget your troubles.
If you fall under this category, I appreciate you.
The GB WhatsApp Users
These ones are Criminals, Terrorists & Armed Robbers. All in the name of bypassing some certain things, they’ll ignore the normal WhatsApp for GB WhatsApp
If you have any friend using GB WhatsApp, rename & save their contacts using the name “TERRORIST”.
Disclaimer: This post is just for entertainment purposes. We are not in any way making a mockery of anyone.
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